Don’t Go There

I’ve just come out of the shower, am soaking wet but this needs to be said…now. I was playing through a conversation that I had yesterday with two girlfriends. It had gone in the direction I was trying to avoid and it led me thinking about this. 

I cannot stand it when anyone speaks badly of LB (formerly known as The Special One). You see, what people fail to remember is that we chose each other. I wasn’t some wallflower waiting to be picked when he pointed at me and went “You. Come. Now” No, it was nothing like that. So if anyone bad mouths him, they’re having a go at my decision making as well. And I don’t like that. 

In fact, I still think that I made good decision. Yeah, yeah, the marriage is over and I get p!ssed off with him sometimes but that’s life. That’s relationships. Have you seen our daughter? She’s amazing! She wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for the choices we made those years ago. Don’t ever tell me that I chose wrongly. Ever.

Another thing (oh my this is a bit of a rant), I am so much more now because of him. Yes, you heard me. No, he didn’t mould me. He didn’t change me. He doesn’t have super powers (well not like that anyway…if he ever reads this, he’ll appreciate the joke). He did however, create the space for me to grow, to refine who I am. Always wanting the best for me but never pushing, only encouraging. Even now as I sit in another country, I want for nothing. 

So yes, I give a hard time sometimes. He sees it for what it is. We move on. We move forward. 

At the end of the day, I don’t want anyone feeling sorry for me. I don’t feel sorry for me. I feel empowered. I feel strong. I feel roarsome! Yes, I know that’s not a real word. Whatevs, yeah? Ha ha. 

Remember this, when I’ve not had a great night’s sleep, most times he hasn’t either. The reason is usually the same. Starfish. But she’s close enough for me to touch.   

  
Thanks for reading x

p.s. The girls weren’t bad-mouthing him 😉