I grew up in apartheid South Africa. Everything was divided. Schools, suburbs, even holiday resorts. I remember being stopped as we entered a ‘Coloureds Only’ resort because we were thought to be white. Must have been everyone’s fair complexion and straight hair. We got in eventually as we had family there and convinced the resort guards that we were really ‘coloured’.
[This is not going to be an education in apartheid-era South Africa…]
What was the point of this intro? (I’ve forgetten) Ah yes, straight hair. I hated my curly hair growing up. It was chemically straightened from as early as I can remember, pre-teen years. My grandmother said I looked like Kelly from Santa Barbara whenever I came from the hairdresser. My dad would give me money to go to the hairdresser and only told me my hair looked nice when it was straight. To this day (I’m fast approaching 40), he’s never complimented my hair when it’s curly.
During high school I wore my hair curly more often because trying to tame the frizz was such hard work but the call of the chemicals always won. When I got divorced (the first one), I cut off all my hair and dyed it black. It was very manageable then! But I WILL NEVER GO BACK TO SHORT HAIR. This is the one thing I am sure of!
After running away to the UK post-divorce, I wore my hair curly most of the time but it was a love-hate relationship. I often did the same thing two days in a row but got different results. What the hell, right? With my second marriage looming (yes looming because now it’s over…lol), I googled day and night to find a way to love my hair. I was
lucky resourceful enough to find the British Curlies website. That’s when my real love affair with my curls started. It’s when I leaned about co-washing, low poos, sulphates, cones, quats, plopping and all sorts of other things. It’s how I learned about Carlos Flores, the curl genius, who made me feel like a curly queen. (Yes, that’s me when you click on the link.) It’s a romance that’s had its ups and downs but, unlike my two marriages, we’re going to stick together through it all. Continuing to learn to be better together. OK…now that’s gone off on a tangent.
The point of this post? Baby Girl. Yes, my beautiful, adorable curly girl. She has an amazing head of curls and I want her to love them from the start. Right now. Not needing websites and curl geniuses and other people to tell her that she has amazing hair. I want her to believe it now. We have started bathing together and part of our process is that we condition each other’s hair and then detangle together. Simple enough but she’s 2.5 years and has never sat in a bath before until 3 weeks ago. So it’s pretty big for me that we get to share this experience together and I can help her embrace the beautiful curls she has by letting her work with mine.
If this post is disjointed, it’s because she woke up shouting for me. She’s had bad dreams in the past but has never woken from them and definitely never shouted for me like this before. Not a great feeling. So this was a long post with the point only becoming apparent at the end. Ah well…I’m sure you’ll forgive me. You will, right?
Ok, so here are a couple of pics…of the two of us enjoying our curly girl bath time.
Thanks for reading x