He hates small talk. I use it as a way to build bridges. To him, it seems, it’s still small talk, so he doesn’t indulge me.
There’s no denying that our friendship was strong throughout our time together. We both hope that this strong relationship can help us develop a friendship moving forward. But how can we when everything feels so strained most of the time?
Funny thing is, I’m ready. But every time my attempts to connect are met with what feels like indifference, it eats away at me and invites the voices in my head to fill in the gaps left by one-word responses.
I sometimes respond by trying to get under his skin. Other times I don’t respond. Sometimes I voice my feelings, but less so these days. My feelings don’t seem to matter so much anymore. Not to him. I’m still learning to accept that his attachments have changed. He says he loves me. He says we’ll always be family. Right now though, I feel like ‘just’ the mother of his child. Someone who facilitates their communication. I could be anyone.
Late night ramblings…
Thanks for reading x