Numb

I walk to my Happy Place feeling like I can’t contain all this emotion within me. There’s a place inside, in my chest, ready to burst. I’m feeling so much that I feel nothing. I am numb.

There are no words left to describe these feelings. So I let them overwhelm me until I am feelingless. Until I can’t feel anymore. I am numb.

Being alone hasn’t produced the results I expected. Or has it? I wanted to be free to feel and now I’m feeling everything. Feeling everything and nothing all at once. I am numb.

Whether I’m full of feeling or numb with feeling, my capacity to shed tears hasn’t diminished. They keep coming. A simple “how are you?” can start a flood. Why can’t they stop? After all…I am numb.

I am numb.
I am numb.

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Thanks for reading x

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2 thoughts on “Numb

  1. I’m playing catch up with your blog and my heart breaks as I realize the pain you are going through. The highs(if infrequent) and the lows. When I listen to you without judging, without advising but just listening, I want to be able to look you in the eye and say it will be okay and then hug the breath out of you. You amaze me with your awesomeness and this is not said lightly. So if there has been no real contact, know that the care and concern is always there for everything you are going through. A few more sleeps till I see you and let the cards fall where they may as tomorrow’s happiness is promised to no-one and I would not presume to make that promise. What I am prepared to do is be there as much as I can to help you get to the other side of peace, joy, love and immeasurable graceโค๏ธ

    Liked by 1 person

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