Feelings come in waves. In no particular order. Anger. Love. Pain. Love. Frustration. Love. Hope. Love. Despair. Love. Hopelessness. Love. Disappointment. Love. Pain.
Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding.
Even as the stone of the fruit must break, that its heart may stand in the sun, so must you know pain.
I’m learning to embrace pain. Pain is good. Not in a self-harming way. Pain is good for understanding. Pain is necessary. It brings with it gifts and lessons that can enhance our self-awareness.
Ha ha, not really sure where I’m going with this.
I don’t want this pain to be around forever and I don’t expect it to. I allow myself to feel it in small, manageable doses. I have to think about those around me. Those who need me. Those to whom I have made a commitment to support and take care of.
Then there’s the pain of others. The onlookers. The ones who feel pain because someone they love is in pain. But then the volume of their pain is sometimes greater than the person affected first-hand. How is that possible? They project their pain onto me and boom, I’m feeling it and I can’t breath. This pain isn’t even about me anymore. It’s about them. Their worldview got shattered. Their perceptions are shattered. All. About. Them. I get it but it doesn’t help. It doesn’t heal.
Good old pain, eh? Sometimes I’ll make light of the things that affect me the most because it’s what I do. Yes, crying is cathartic but sometimes it’s just better to laugh. To smile. To feel the temporary lightness that these things bring.
This post is all over the place! Anyway, another quote from ze book (see below)…
Much of your pain is self-chosen.
It is the bitter potion by which the physician within you heals your sick self.
Therefore trust the physician, and drink his remedy in silence and tranquillity:
For his hand, though heavy and hard, is guided by the tender hand of the Unseen,
And the cup he brings, though it burn your lips, has been fashioned of the clay which the Potter has moistened with His own sacred tears.
I’m gonna be ok. I’m going to be better than ok. I’m going to be great! The love I feel is greater than the pain. And love, well, it conquers all.
Thanks for reading x
Quotes are from my favourite book, The Prophet, by Kahlil Gibran.