Affairs of the Heart

My friend believes that the woman is the first to have an affair when the baby is born. I can’t dispute that.

Since Baby Girl was born, I have poured my heart and soul into being a mother. A good mother. This isn’t a bad thing. In fact, it’s the most natural instinct in the world, to protect and nurture your own flesh and blood. I can’t and won’t apologise for this.

But now, with eyes wide open, I see how neglect has crept into my marriage. It wasn’t intentional. Two years of breastfeeding means two years of sleeping with my back turned to The Husband. Two years of finding my identity as a mother and slowly letting all else lose importance. Not intentionally. This was never part of the plan.

Just thinking through my thoughts again. I’ve been doing a lot of that recently. If only time travel were possible. I’d have the hindsight to give me the foresight I needed.

So, without lamenting on how things could have been different, now we move forward. Thankful to be given the opportunity to turn what we had and what we now have into something wonderful and better than before with The Special One. Thankful that, although not the way I’d have wanted it, my eyes are open, hope is restored and motivation is fired up and I believe that love will conquer all.

Thanks for reading x

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