Tomorrow I am taking our little girl to the childminder for a settling in session. It’s a scary thought. For the past year all she’s known is us. My mother has looked after her for about 2 hours but that’s it. We have not been out on our own…period. So no romantic dinners, no movies, no more going to the gym together. I do miss those things but I wouldn’t trade them for what we have now – this ever growing bundle of joy producing little human.
I’ll be there with her all the time tomorrow at the childminder. On day 2 I’ll leave for a while and day 3 I’ll leave here there for even longer. I know that this is necessary because I intend to start working (once I get a job) and so she’ll need to be looked after. But I still have mixed feelings about it. Part of me knows that this is the way it goes. Babies get bigger and need to spend time with other children and parents need some time on their own or need to go to work, etc.
On the one hand it feels like if she goes to the childminder and enjoys it there that’s confirmation that she doesn’t need me. I know it’s strange and irrational but hey, I never promised to be rational. On the other hand, I want her to enjoy herself and be comfortable there because it means that I can easily go to interviews or any other appointments. Perhaps I’ll get in a middle of the day gym session 😉 and eventually when I start work then she’ll be settled in already.
This is what it’s going to be like I guess. As she gets older there’ll be all these bittersweet moments. For starters, I’m sure I’ll miss the closeness of her cuddles while she’s nursing but I look forward to owning my boobs again.
The best I can do is be present and enjoy every moment.
Thanks for reading x